Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm determined to sit on that face.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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