we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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