I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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