You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't deserve a penis
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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