This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
