i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
