Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
