I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
