he puts the penis in happiness.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
