The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
