i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
