If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
