I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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