dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
