Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
