just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
