How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
