it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
