why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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