i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
