My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
