Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
