i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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