i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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