there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
