my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
