it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
