I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
