Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
