Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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