If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
