you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
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