Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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