he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
