Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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