Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
