If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
