I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
