Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
