why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
