so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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