Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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