I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
