LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
