Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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