dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
