So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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