the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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