Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm passing your future prison.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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