Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
