I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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