dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
